All right, there has been way too much highbrow political mumbo jumbo being posted on this website recently. It’s time we get back to our roots. And, what are those roots? Stupid puns, of course!

Last week commemorated the passing of a certain political figure in American history, and so I just couldn’t help myself.

And if you get that one without any help, then I bow before your awesome geekyness. For the rest of you, that’s a type of monster from Dungeons and Dragons (and other fantasy lore.) If you still can’t figure it out, check the comments on my LJ. Somebody’ll have the answer posted there within a few minutes of me posting this. (I really need to be more obscure with these things. They’re far too accessible.)

Okay, so I’m off by a few hours. Sorry about that. I wanted to get this posted on Tuesday, but it will have to be a wee-hours Wednesday post. Scroll down for pun stupidity. Since It’s so late, I’m going to hold off on those annotations (since I have to edit them and the like) until Thursday.

Those of you who check the main coppermind.brandonsanderson.com page might have noticed that I did a sweeping update of the book percentages in the top left corner. I’d let this section languish, so I decided to throw up all of the projects that I know I need to get done by next year this time, along with a few projects I’d LIKE to get done by then. We’ll see how many of these I can clear off the list by then.

First off, we have the long-awaited Warbreaker draft. I really need to get to this, as it’s the book that will be coming out after Mistborn 3. Our hope was to get it out fairly quickly, perhaps at a 10 month interval, then publish the sequel sometime during the holiday season. However, before any of that can happen, I’ll need to get to revising. This is the project my agent wants me to be working on. (You’ll notice that writing the sequel is on the list of things to do as well.)

Also on the list is Alcatraz 3. 2 is done and turned in, and I’m waiting for the next round of revisions on that one. I’d like to have three turned in early, just like I did for two, and this is actually what I’m working on right now. I figure that I need to get it done before turning my attention to Warbreaker, since I’ll spend a lot of time editing there, then want to move on to do the sequel while the first one is still fresh in my mind.

The Liar of Partinel (a.k.a Dragonsteel Book One.) This is the series I’m doing after Warbreaker, so I kind of jumped the gun on writing it. But, it needed to be done because I’m going to have to let this one simmer for a long time. I’m planning a long-ish series for that one, rather than the two book quickie for Warbreaker. That means I need plenty of time to plan out and plot based on events in the first book. That means getting it done early enough to plan out the rest of the series. (I hate ‘make it up as you go along’ series.)

That leaves a couple of backburner ‘on spec’ projects. Dark One, something I’ve been trying to finish off for two years now, is a YA fantasy. The Super Secret Project is something I’m not really talking about right non (as you might have guessed) but I’ll do so eventually.

Mixed up in all of that are a bunch of other edits I need to do. I had no idea how much I’d have to juggle things like this when I got published.

Anyway, stupid pun time! Apparently, there was a big video game release last month while I was on book tour. Who knew?

Well, folks, I can safely say that I know ONE reason why the book has been so tough to find for some people. We got numbers for last week today, and they look pretty darn good. Bookscan (the Nielsen ratings for books) lists MISTBORN: WELL OF ASCENSION as the #3 hardback fantasy of the week, right behind Tolkien at #1 and Laurel K. Hamilton at #2. I’ll take #3 behind that short list. If you include SF books in the list, we drop down to #6, since that adds heavyweights like the new DUNE book and the new Stephenson novel.

All things considered, that’s very good for a little book like mine. We were up 75% in sales from book one of the series a great number, and there was much jubilation from my editor and agent.

This is, of course, tempered by worry. Since Barnes and Noble has the book on NO REPLENISH in their system for some reason, that means the book is pretty much sold out at a large number of their stores, with no re-order planned. Sounds crazy, I know, but sometimes the bureaucracy in this business is downright frustrating.

So, if you’re looking to read and find out what all the hoopla is about on this book, you’ll need to go to Borders (who decided to order plenty of copies, then just reordered more and stuck them in floor displays in most of the stores) or to Waldenbooks–or, to your local independent. Amazon or Booksense are other good options.

And, if you’re a fan of Barnes and Noble, it would help if when you visit them you’d complain about the lack of copies of Mistborn 2. If you order from them and make them bring it in, then they’ll probably order more copies of Mistborn 3, realizing their mistake with the second book.

Anyway, by way of celebration, here’s a completely unrelated but still quite stupid pun. Think you know it? Post on my lj or my facebook with your guesses.

Mistborn: The Well of Ascension is out! We’re really keeping our fingers crossed for first week sales on this one, so if you’ve been waiting for it to come out, you should be happy to know that it’s on shelves pretty much everywhere! Some people have even been noting on my forums that it came out a few days early in some parts of the nation.

In celebration, here’s a rejected cover idea:

Okay, so that’s a really obvious pun. Sorry. I figured it would just be a quick Photoshop, then spent forever searching for a shot of Matt Damon looking the right direction. (Never did find one.) Man, that’s an odd angle we’ve got of Vin on the cover.

My agent tells me that I just don’t spend enough time on the blog talking about the upcoming release of Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians. His opinion is that you all are well aware of the Mistborn books, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. However, he doesn’t know that you even realize I’ve got a children’s book coming out in October. (Actually, I believe his complaint yesterday was “ANOTHER Mistborn deleted scene? How many of those do you have? What about Alcatraz bonus material?”)

We shall see. He and I have different opinions about what my blog should be. He sees it as an advertising tool–which, I guess it is, in a way. However, to me, it’s less commercial than that. More a look into the writing process, with occasional glimpses of Brandon the person, rather than Brandon the writer.

Yes, for those who were hoping these were gone, THOU FOOLS! Bad puns are my life-blood. Each time one makes Tage groan, I grow a little bit stronger.

Soon I will rule the world.

Need a clue?

I’m hard at work at the Mistborn 3 rewrite, and–alas–have not had any time to read Harry Potter yet. My wife stole the book first, and I’ve really got to get this rewrite done.

In other news, for some reason, this picture is just freaking cool to me. It’s a map of the world, drawn intentionally distorted. Gets an Idea of the Day brewin in my head….

It’s a special Valentine’s Week Amphigory:

Need a clue? This is a bit harder. It has to do with the little cherub, and what he’s holding. Also, the text itself isn’t all that important. In case you’re new to the blog, every Tuesday I do random stupid puns in pictorial form. What does this have to do with writing? Nothing! I just like bad puns. Another regular feature is the Pemberly Moment, random things said by my wife taken completely out of context. Today’s entry includes myself as a guest star. You ready?

This is the text of an actual Conversation between my wife and I:

Pemberly: “Is it still bleeding?”
Me: “Nah, I just had a carrot between my toes.”

What’s the context? Wouldn’t you like to know! Ha! In more serious tones, Pemberly asked for only one thing for Valentine’s day: A love letter. Hum. Do you think “Q” is romantic enough, or should I go with “M”?

Actually, I really don’t know what to do about this. I’ve never really written anything like that before, and you’d think that as a novelist, I’d be able to come up with something, but it’s actually a little bit daunting. Do you think those guys on the Internet who write school papers in exchange for money would be willing to do a love letter instead?

Finally, does anyone know what this is: Looks like someone’s using my website as a school assignment for web design class. Pretty nifty! I’d be curious to know why the instructor picked my website, and would be interested to see the different designs. If any of you designer-types see this, drop me an email or hop over to my Livejournal and leave a comment.

Warbreaker Tomorrow, and I promise some actual writing advice/story prompt type stuff later in the week.

Did you think I forgot? I have two resolutions. Get back to work, and answer my email.

Hopefully, this Amphigory isn’t that tough to figure out. It’s the first of what may be a series of alternate jobs for famous science fiction characters. Be afraid.

File name has the solution. Warbreaker tomorrow.

Happy birthday to me!

I’ll try to get a Warbreaker up tomorrow. Might be late in the day. Check the file name for the hint for the picture above, if you need one.

And, I’m off to Spain! I will do my best to update. Until then, Don’t Stop Believin’! Even though we go our Separate Ways, I’ll have Open Arms for the Wheel in the Sky!

If you need more clues, look here:

Hint is in the file name of the original picture. I’ll put it in the optional text too, just in case.

Warbreaker Tomorrow.